TNMU #219: Advice For the Co-Parenting Dad with Amy Ambrozich

Aug 12, 2022

Parenting and Stepfamily coach and expert, Amy Ambrozich, rejoins the show to talk about the challenges dads face in a co-parenting situation. From role disorientation to grieving the loss of what was to navigating a brand new environment, Amy gets at that struggles men and dads face and offers advice on what you can do. Whether this is your situation, or your buddy’s situation, or you just want to learn, there is something here for you.

 

Save Our Sanity Group: https://bit.ly/dtplinks

Website: https://www.daretoparent.com

Email: [e-mail] 

 

Expanded Notes:

• Amy’s starting point for all parenting work:
• • Family Foundation: Vision, Values, and Goals
• When Co-Parenting, consistency across the homes is best for kids
• The biggest challenge that dads in co-parenting situations face is knowing their role
• Men are often not allowed or encouraged to process feelings, especially grief
• Generally it takes 5-7 years for a blended family to feel like a family unit, and many couples don’t make it that long because of how hard it is
• Discipline (and one’s parenting style) is one of the key issues to be addressed in a blended family
• • Transition from friendly adult in the house, to support partner, to taking more active role
  • The age of the child matters
• Navigating the disorienting period of “what is my role?”
• • Talk with your wife about what you’re experiencing; be vulnerable
  • Find something to do with the kids one to one
  • Be supportive when kids are discussing their other parents (including grief from a deceased parent)
  • Ease your way in and be open to the tension and the negotiating
  • Realize that first born boys may feel like they’re role is being replaced by you
  • Assume a posture of listening and a curiosity mindset
  • Dad, you go first, model what you want
• What parents wished they had recognized earlier:
• • We don’t have the skills needed to be a parents (we have work to do)
  • We need to put our partnership first
  • We should have talked about our goals first
  • We should have given ourself permission to not know and ask for help
• Resources:
• • Ron Deal, step-family author